作为提醒的鼓励

收到了秋天时《纯粹理性批判》讨论班的教授写的评语:

Xiaoxi’s contributions to class discussion were infrequent, but uniformly penetrating and insightful. She completed a rough draft of her term paper, which was clear, well argued, thorough, original and sophisticated.
I was especially impressed with her ability to present a sustained and lenghy interpretive argument about Kant, a task at which few graduate students excel.(Most opt for papers that critically discuss a debate in the secondary literature, rather than presenting an original interpretation of a piece of the primary text.) I gave her only minimal suggestions for improvement, which she made to good effect.
Excellent work.

乐。当作一个鼓励吧,垂头丧气,怀疑自己的时候,可以拿出来读一读。
其实里面说到的,关于我直接对原文给出自己的阐释,而非诉诸于二手文献来写作论文的特点,在教授看来,是一种能力,但我自己明白,这在相当程度上是因为懒。懒于阅读文献,还找理由,认为过多地阅读那些工整甚至呆板的文章,导致思维阻塞,灵光无从闪现。前些时读到《竹窗随笔》里的一段话,狠是让我惭愧了一番,录在这里,警醒一下自己:

论疏:如来说经。而菩萨造论。后贤制疏。皆所以通经义。而开示众生使得悟入。厥功大矣。或乃谓佛所说经。本自明显。不烦注释。以诸注释反成晦滞。于是一概拨置。无论优劣。无论凡圣。尽以为不足观。此其说似是而非。何者。不信传而信经。是亦知本。但草忽卤莽。以深经作浅解。则其失非细。是盖有心病二焉。一者懒病。二者狂病。懒则惮于博究。疲于精思。惟图省便。不劳心力故。狂则上轻古德。下藐今人。惟恣胸臆。自用自专故。新学无智。靡然乐从。予实悯之。为此苦口。

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